Orchid Standard Time
So we're murderers. Well, orchid murderers anyway. In the first 6.5 years of our marriage we bought, and unintentionally took the lives of probably 15-20 orchid plants of various breeds and sizes. For those of you who haven't attempted to keep one of these suckers alive....let me assure you that it's a tricky prospect. We couldn't keep one alive for more than a week or two.
A little too much light? Dead orchid. A little too cool? Dead orchid. Not humid enough? Dead orchid. One tablespoon too much water? Dead orchid. Look at your orchid angrily? Your precious orchid will stick it's tongue out at you, and stomp off to the afterlife in a huff.
So, not to be beaten by a scrawny evil plant, this last summer we bought one more. One more. One more try. Please, PLEASE don't die. We got a small orchid with two stems of flowers sticking out of a small pot.
I'm proud to say we figured it out. In our bathroom window, next to the fogged glass, our orchid has thrived. Three ice cubes in the pot, every Friday. The buds that were unopened when we bought it opened up, and the plant lived happily for something like three straight months. At this point the flowers started wilting and falling off the stems. I figured, hey, that's a success. We had a good run of it!
(Stick with me, I promise, there's a point to all this.)
Just as the last flower was wilting and falling off, we noticed these little nubs sticking out about halfway up both stems. After a few days we realized that it was two new "branches" growing off the existing stems. A couple months, and a little pruning later, we had two, full new branches with many large buds ready to open. It's taken about a month of watching, or maybe a little more, but about half of those buds have slowly opened, revealing brand new flowers.
So, on to the point of this long, drawn out tale. Winning this battle with the orchids took a LOT of patience, work, trial and error. It's just like life. In order to reap a good harvest, we had to sow well, and wait for the harvest. We had to endure several foiled harvests and botanic failures before we saw a big victory.
Once we did start having a victory we also had to persevere. Fight the good fight, so to speak. And we had to be very, very patient. Orchids are in NO hurry to get anything done. It's taken over a month for just half of the buds to open. Life is the same way. We want results now. Right now. And we live in a society where, for the most part, we get those results. The thing is, the most important things in life often don't fall anywhere near the "instant gratification" territory.
If your marriage is falling apart, there's no quick fix. If your kids are acting out, you had better think past this week. If you break a leg, don't try standing on it an hour later. These things take time, patience, and a large amount of TLC and prayer to get through.
"7: Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8: Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9: Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." - Galatians 6:7-9
Verse 9 is the most important in that passage in my opinion. Sow good seed, and know that reaping will probably take longer than you want it to. That's probably by design anyway. God's probably trying to teach you something.
Let's remember that we've all killed a few orchids in our past. And you may kill another few along the way. That doesn't mean you should stop trying. One of my favorite quotes from the (fantastic) movie courageous is when the main character, Adam, turns to his son Dylan and says "I don't feel like I started well, I want to finish well."
Subtitle? What Subtitle?
Before my last blog post I changed the subtitle at the top of my blog to "Revelation - Resolution - Revolution." This has become a kind-of theme for this year for me. I've come to realize that those three words represent a concise process for any real change or growth in our lives.
A lot of us get "revelation" dropped into our lives. We hit points in our lives where God wants to teach us things we need to know to get through to the next stage He has for us. The key point here is to listen. And by listening, I mean being open to His words (whether He tells us directly, through a sermon, through a friend, etc). Life is hard, and we tune God out....or let's be honest, we almost all hit a point (or points) in life where we're embittered against Him for some circumstance we've encountered. But realize His love, open up to Him and let him drop words into your life. This revelation is the spark that ignites the flame of change.
Here's the rub: If we get revelation and choose not to act on it, we get nowhere. Resolution is a crucial part of change. Where revelation says "Wow, I need change/growth," resolution says "I'm going to change/grow, and here's how I'm going to accomplish that." Resolution is an executive decision, a road map, a signature on the dotted line, and a battle plan, all rolled into one. For change to occur in your life you must resolve to change and then decide how to do that....and don't get those out of order. Resolve to change, and that will give you the drive to come up with your plan. This resolution is the flame waiting to light the forest on fire.
This is where we usually fall off the bus, so to speak. We jump in with both feet, but we often lack the staying power needed. It gets too hard. We get distracted. It's not fun anymore. You name it. The classical difference between a "rebellion" and a "revolution" is that in the past-tense, a revolution was successful, and a rebellion failed. We often practice "Revelation - Resolution - Rebellion," or just "Revelation - Rebellion." You must realize that change is often very hard, often long-term work. The bottom line is that if you had "revelation," you know deep down that you need to change or grow in some area of your life. Pick a fight with yourself, and refuse to lose. Let the fire burn.
I made new-years resolutions for the first time this year. Just a couple, small things. I went into it knowing that I wouldn't be 100% successful 100% of the time. I know that even though they're relatively simple and small, that there will be days that are a real battle. The main thing is that I refuse to give up in the things I've resolved to do. I will fight. I will win.
"We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender." - Winston Churchill
"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win." - 1 Corinthians 9:24
Divine Immersion
"And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books that would be written." - John 21:25
"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do..." - John 14:12 (Jesus speaking)
The picture these verses paint has been on my heart recently. I can't help but wonder what the world would be like if we, as Christians, lived these truths out in our daily lives. Just look at the wording Jesus and John use... Jesus Himself said that we will do greater things than He did on the earth.
We're called to raise the bar in our lives. To step up to the plate. To stand in the gap for our cities, friends, and family. To be the examples and lights that we know we should be in our workplaces, in our churches, to our families, to our friends.
We spend our lives limping along in a battle to earn a place which has already been bought and paid for, if we'd only step into the glory that is already ours.
Make this a year of change. Cast some vision for the areas you know you want to change in your life. Decide you've had enough of being pushed around by the enemy. Declare over your life that you are finished giving up ground. Raise your shield and spear, join with the believers along side you, and allow God to change your world. You are a chosen child of the King, through His blood you are as glorious as He intended you to be, and it's time to step into your place!
"When you go out to battle against your enemies and see horses and chariots and people more numerous than you, do not be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, who brought you up from the land of Egypt, is with you." - Deuteronomy 20:1
We are the victorious tribe of Judah! We are the continuation of David and Solomon's line which was foretold by the prophets! We serve The King sitting on the throne of the kingdom that will never end! We're an integral part of a grand picture meant to bring love, joy, hope, and peace to our world, and all glory to its Creator!
Victor Mentality
David Gilbert preached past Sunday while Pastor Lee was out of town. His subject was "Thriving or Surviving" in regards to our behavior and outlook on life. I think He just as easily could have called it "Victim or Victor."
Now, I'm about to get vulnerable here, so be easy on me. I have had a victim mentality for most of my life. Yup, it's true. Who knew, right? (OK, I'm sure plenty of those who KNOW me knew that) 
I had to come to a place over the past few weeks where I looked at myself and my behavior patterns and called myself on the carpet. Here's a few things that helped me come to this realization:
- I talk about myself all the time. I always try to spin the conversation so I can talk about my life, my experiences, my feelings. I need people to know exactly how I feel about everything.
- I take very little interest in the lives of others. See above. I try to spin their conversation to myself.
- I don't respond well to correction or guidance. I shut down, or get angry.
- I'm not transparent.
- There was also a gentle correction by a good friend in my life, telling me I had a victim mentality. Something I initially rejected...and later realized was true. :-/
David's sermon really hit home what I'd been coming to the realization of over the previous few weeks.
I've lived the majority of my life with a hidden, internal "feeling" that no matter what I do, I'll fail ultimately. I may succeed in the short term out of sheer determination and frustration, but in the long run, people are going to see through my act...and the gig will be up. No one will ever take me seriously as a man, a Christian, a husband, a businessperson, a human. The fingers of this mentality found their way into every decision and action I've taken.
There are a few major problems with this.
First of all, it's a lie from the pit of hell. Christ didn't intend for us to live defeated, downtrodden, pitiful lives. He intended us to live victorious, powerful lives. Lives that usher His kingdom into this world. He didn't die for me so I could remain a worthless loser for the rest of my life.
Second, when you believe you're ultimately doomed to failure, you take every bump in the road as a reflection on you as a person. Things that make some people shrug, devastate you, at least on the inside.
Third, you won't try anything without prompting, because you don't believe you're actually meant for anything in specific.
Fourth, you're a victim. Everyone must be out to get you, because they must see that inside you really don't have what it takes. You won't succeed, so they don't want to invest time in you. You isolate yourself, which over time causes people to pull away from you, which you again see as nothing more than people not investing time in you. Vicious cycle stuff...
With all this in mind, I've made a few serious decisions about myself. I'm quitting this self-focused attitude. I have a couple people I really feel drawn to that I'm going to invest time in. I want friendships, and I'm going to make it happen by serving the needs of others and going out of my way for others.
I'm going to be more transparent. Coming to this realization required/requires me to get vulnerable. It's freeing to know that those who really are FOR me...really don't care if I'm not perfect, or if I've got issues, etc. Find someone who has no issues, and I'll show you a liar.
Sorry to ramble on and on. This has just been rattling around upstairs for a little while now.
"The enemy is under Your feet. We are free, We are free. Death has been defeated by love, You overcome, You overcome." - Hillsong, Alive in Us
Things I’ve Learned
So, as most of you probably know, Misty's grandfather Gary Kirk passed away last week. He had recently been diagnosed with advanced bile duct, liver, and pancreas cancers. He unexpectedly died due to complications last monday. The week following was a crazy roller-coaster for the family consisting of crying, laughing, hard work, and lots of love. Being around family in times like these always teaches me a thing or two about life and living.
- I learned that my family and extended family are just about as good as a family can get. Absolutely amazing in every way and I love them all dearly.
- I learned that I've got some of the best, most supportive friends a person could hope to have.
- I learned that my job and my co-workers are so patient and kind through life's trials. I've been very blessed.
- I learned that supporting those who are grieving is part of grief.
- I learned that some people have a true gift of selfless hospitality.
- I learned that in grief, people have very specific roles that they play. Some are the rope that ties everything and everyone together. Some are the emotion that grief is portrayed as. Some are the smiles that bring relief from the pain. Some are the memory that remind everyone of the good. Some are the coordinators and workers that keep the wheels turning.
- I learned how a little kindness shown, and a little attention paid, will always remain with those you give it to.
- I learned that the kind of legacy you want, is the kind that continues to evolve and grow even after you're gone.
I was asked by the family to write and give the eulogy. I was very honored to be asked to do this, and was a little hesitant at first because I felt like I was "just" Gary's "grandson-in-law" and that the honor should be with someone who grew up around him.
But I was gently reminded by my wife that he loved me too, and in his eyes I was just as much family as anyone else. There were no "steps" or "in laws" to him. He treated everyone equally and loved everyone with reckless abandon. Here is what I read at his funeral last thursday:
Gary Kirk
We often refer to some-one's legacy as what they left behind when they passed on. It’s seen as a final, immovable culmination of their life and accomplishments. While Gary Kirk has passed on from us, his legacy continues to be written. It grows as we grow. It evolves as we change. It’s perfected as our memories revive and sharpen on the beautiful time we spent with him.
Gary Bennett Kirk of Lake Jackson was born in Greggton, Texas on June 29, 1935.
At the age of 19, Gary joined the United States Army. For a time, he was stationed in Japan, and loved the culture, language, and people there. After his time in the service, Gary went to work for Dow Chemical from which he retired 41 years later.
Preceding Gary's passing were his parents, Charles Dewey and Mattie Kirk, his sister, Margie Lou Kirk, grandsons Johney and Kevin James, and great-granddaughter Kathrine.
Gary's family includes his loving wife, Rosemary Kirk, daughter Linda Alexander and husband James, sons, David Kirk and wife Carolyn, Charles Kirk, John James and wife Lauree, Bobby James and wife Linda, grandchildren, Ryan Kirk, Jon Kirk, Aaron Kirk, Misty Vennell and her husband Ryan, Wendy James, Heidi Cerbone and her husband Billy, Amanda Parker and her husband Calvin, Eric James, and one great granddaughter Felicity Vennell, as well as a great grandson on the way.
On Monday, June 13, 2011 Gary passed on and is now with his Lord who he greatly loved.
But his legacy didn't end there. As long as the memories of him remain, the traits he passed on can be seen, and the wisdom he imparted is acted upon, his legacy will continue to be written.
Gary's legacy is music. The love for it and talent for it has transcended generations.
Many grandchildren remember him when they see a sketchpad or charcoal pencils. He used to gather the grandchildren around and give lessons in drawing. Gary’s legacy is the artistic spirit instilled in so many of his descendants.
Gary's legacy is adventure and excitement. His son Charles, for many years, made everyone's life exciting by blowing things up. His grandson Jon is happy to continue that legacy every chance he gets. And when HE'S not blowing things up, he’s busy causing himself bodily harm in a myriad of other ways during his many adventures.
One who knew Gary as a young man might accidentally mistake his grandson Ryan for him. Gary's legacy carries on in the way Ryan walks and talks; It's in his face, his eyes, and in his smile. They even share the same birthday, and Ryan will always remember his grandfathers big, blue truck pulling in the driveway for the celebration.
His daughter Linda will always think of the way he would shave and then rub his smooth face up against hers, and HER daughter Misty will always remember the unmatchable backrubs he gave, as well as long walks in the spring time to pick wild flowers. This tender, affectionate spirit is his legacy.
Often times when Heidi or Wendy would arrive at his house, Gary would have filled the cabinets with specific foods or treats that they loved. And he would vigorously defend Eric’s right to choose a movie every once in a while, even though Amanda and Misty might veto in favor of a chick flick. This giving, go-the-extra-mile attitude is portrayed by so many in his family who learned early on from him how special these little acts made them feel.
Amanda remembers her grandfather letting her and her cousins steer his big white trunk at a young age (with him as backup of course), and David remembers his father taking time to build him hand-made toys or to teach him how to build kites and various other contraptions for playing with. One only needs to see Linda explaining to Felicity how to fill a pail with dirt, or how to operate the a fly swatter (to defend against the scary bugs) to see how this nurturing, teaching spirit has been passed on.
As you can see, Gary’s legacy is far from “final.” It will be kept alive through people reminiscing about their good times with Gary, Poppy, Gee, Grandpa Gary, Baby Boy, or Grandfather Swan.
It will be seen in the faces of his children’s children’s children.
When his family travels the world and brings back stories of far away lands, his joy will have joined them in their journeys.
When his descendants pick up a paint brush, a sketchpad, or design the interior of a room, his creativity will be flowing in their veins.
And when one of his great-great-great-grandchildren picks up a guitar, a microphone, or a cello...his legacy will be riding on the melody.